Gakuen Jejemon
by Killjoy Whatsername
Summary: It all started with a Filipino transfer student and Alfred's newfound videogame addiction. A collection of drabbles in the Hetalia high school AU.  OC!Philippines, USPH


**Gakuen j3J3m0N - a collection of drabbles on Maria's adventures in the Hetalia high school AU**

Disclaimer: I don't own hetalia

* * *

><p><strong>Texting at Iggy's House<strong>

Rating: K+

Summary: Title is enough said.

Pairing: USPH

Arthur Kirkland was a typical English gentleman, or at least when the ladies were around. If it wasn't for the presence of Alfred's female friend, he would have lost his composure hours ago. His unusually thick eyebrows twitched as he tried to hold back the barrage of cuss words he was about to throw at his American friend. All Arthur could do was watch, as the two teenagers busily tapped on their cellphones and read their messages out loud.

"'lAbqCkyOuHh' What does that mean, Maria?" Alfred asked as he tried to decode the incomprehensible language in the text.

"It says 'love ko you.'" Maria replied.

"Ah." Alfred started typing on his phone once again.

"'Lu\/5 u 2'" Maria read aloud.

"Aww, how sweet."

Arthur was really annoyed, he couldn't take it any longer. "Will you two bloody twats take your ridiculous language somewhere else! You can't just come to my house to read your text messages aloud!"

"Way to go dude," Alfred whined, "you just chose the worst time possible to lose it."

* * *

><p><strong>The New Kid at World Academy<strong>

Rating: K+

Summary: Maria joins Gakuen Hetalia as a transfer student and sees a lot of familiar and new faces.

"Like, totally!" Feliks stood up from his seat and sat back down after receiving a few awkward stares. His Lithuanian friend, Toris, didn't know how to react, so he just laughed nervously at the blond transvestite's previous remark. The rest of the class also goofed off while the teacher was away. An albino kid with a yellow bird flying over his head jumped on his desk, declaring his awesomeness, while a stern looking German boy pressed the bridge of his nose in annoyance. Next to him sat a ditzy, brown haired Italian who was tugging on his sleeve while rambling about pasta. In the back of the classroom, typical American boy Alfred F. Jones focused on his handheld video game, playing Grand Theft Auto. Arthur was being pestered by the snooty flirt, François* Bonnefoy, and a Belarusian girl named Natalya glared daggers at everyone, especially Toris.

Loud chatter coming from the students flooded the room, until the teacher finally walked in with a young girl following him. He cleared his throat once to get everyone's attention, except for Alfred, whose conscience still wandered in the world of video games. Then, the voices started to fade and all that could be heard were the sounds of gunshots and screaming civilians coming from Alfred's game, which he quickly muted, rather than turning it off, before the teacher noticed.

"Class, may I have your attention please." Alfred still continued running over multiple pedestrians in his game.

"A new student shall be joining us today," the teacher announced, "Her name is Maria Clara de la Cruz."

From hearing her name, the American's attention snapped and he ignored his game for a moment.

'Could it really be her?' he wondered.

'eEoWpFhUeEhsxz' the new girl almost said out loud, but instead, she greeted with "Hello, I'm glad to be here."

From the farthest backseat, Alfred waved his hand, then pointed at his face, as if he was saying 'Over here! Remember me, Alfred Jones from when we were younger?' Maria also got a few other reactions from some students. It wasn't unexpected, since a lot of the Gakuen Hetalia's students were related to each other in a way. Kiku, one of her distant relatives, shortly gasped after he saw her. An older student, Antonio, had a flashy, nostalgic look on his face, while a grumpy looking boy, Lovino, complained at the sight of her, probably in jealousy.

Alfred frantically pointed at an empty seat next to his, with a pleading, yet hyper, look in his eyes which yelled out 'Sit next to the hero please! If you remember me, sit here! I'm Alfred, your hero!' But despite the gamer's silent begging, Maria chose the seat that nobody dared to even approach. It was right in front of Ivan Braginski, the notorious Russian psychopath of the school. Toris nearly fainted, while Natalia dug her nails deep into her desk, making a screeching noise which hurt everyone's ears.

Maria didn't understand why everyone was staring at her all weird. At the moment, all she thought was 'Now that obnoxious Alfred can't bother me.' Little did she realize that behind Ivan's kind, smiling face, was a dangerous being.

*because François sounds more French than Francis

* * *

><p><strong>The Bad Touch Trio<strong>

Rating: T for paranoia and the fact that France is involved

Summary: Maria comes face to face with the notorious group known as the Bad Touch Trio.

Lily was a young, short haired, blonde girl who was considered to be one of the cutest in the entire school. Vash, her overprotective brother who she resembled, was escorting her to her next class, until he stopped her from walking and hid her behind his back. All the other girls around stopped at their tracks and then speed-walked away, except for Maria, who stood dumbfounded beside Alfred, and a green eyed brunette, who just came out of the Home Ec room, walked back inside then went back out, carrying a frying pan.

Almost everyone knew the reason why she did that. It was the Bad Touch Trio, a group of three boys who were known for being troublemakers, each in their own special way. They walked through the halls normally, but they were surrounded by some kind of aura, like the one that the cool guys had, or even worse, a feeling that you get when stalkers came around. And they all knew why, all but Maria.

Among the three of them who walked alongside each other, the one in the middle was the center of attention. He was the one who jumped on his desk in class earlier, with his little canary that flew over his head. To his left, a blond with a goatee held a rose and blew kisses to other girls, and some guys as well. The other one was a tanned Spaniard with curly brown hair, and apparently, he liked tomatoes.

"Why are all the girls acting so scared?" Maria innocently asked.

"Don't you know about the Bad Touch Trio?" Alfred exclaimed.

"No, I don't. Do you mind explaining?"

"Well, you see that white haired one with red eyes and a bird?"

"Yes."

"That's Gilbert. He says he's awesome, but I'm even more awesome than he is," Alfred explained.

"Now, do you see that girl over there with the frying pan?" he pointed at the fierce looking brunette. "She used to date this musician guy, and I heard a rumor that Gilbert 'invaded his vital regions.'"

"Alright..." Maria said uncomfortably.

"Now look at that French dude with the roses." Alfred continued, "A lot of girls used to think that he's hot and sexy and stuff, but they learned their lesson after a while. It would be a good idea to stay away from him as much as possible."

"Lastly," he said, "the Mexican- I mean Spanish one is Antonio Carriedo-"

"Kuya Tonio!" Maria interrupted. "I don't think there's anything wrong about him. I knew him since I was a little girl and he's a great person, although he used to be mean to me at times."

"That's the point." Alfred clarified, "Antonio loves little kids. Sometimes, way too much that it's creepy. I mean if Pedobear was the school mascot, he would be the guy in the suit."

Maria just shrugged and approached her old friend anyway. But then, her chocolate brown eyes met with Francis's sparkling blue ones. As she was mesmerized, the Frenchman took her hand and tried to kiss it while he greeted her with "Bonjour, ma cherie."

Maria wanted to smack him badly, but she felt someone grab her wrist and saw a hand blocking Francis's face.

"Don't touch her." Antonio warned, after switching to protective mode. "Nice to see you again, Maria."

"Thanks, Kuya Tonio!"

(A/N: Sorry for the use of cliches such as poetic descriptions of physical appearance and using their nationalities instead of their names. I wrote this a long time ago, before I learned that cliches are bad.)

* * *

><p><strong>1 $p34K 1337!1!1!1!1!1!111 :DDDDD<strong>

Rating: K+

Summary: Clearly, Alfred has been on the computer too much.

"LOL, Mattie! You're so funny!" Alfred laughed at his brother's joke.

"Al, did you just say 'LOL' out loud instead of actually laughing?" Matthew asked and pushed his glasses up.

"OMG, Matt! Your'e right. I probably spent too much time chatting online with my gamer friends."

"How many hours a day do you play video games anyway?"

"IDK," Alfred shrugged as he counted with his fingers. "Like at least five hours on a school day."

* * *

><p><strong>Peter Goes Terminal<strong>

Rating: K+

Summary: Peter+Cellphone=Arthur with a terrible headache.

"H3y, j3rk 4r+jUr!1!1! ImPlehyingg wiThxz R4!V!zz xsoh imma behhoumLheytt :P" Arthur raised one of his bushy eyebrows in confusion.

He grasped his cellphone tightly as he first tried to read the message, then gave up and decided to reply.

"Will you stop typing in gibberish. What was that supposed to mean?" A few seconds after hitting 'send,' Arthur received a new message from his little brother, Peter.

The message read "Ihtsz N0ht geeburshh!1!11! Eehtzzz jeJ3nes3!111! LfR3d khallz i7 L3375p34k XDDDDD" Frustrated, Arthur groaned and started typing furiously.

"Type in English!" In a playground somewhere in the neighborhood, an energetic child with blond hair, blue eyes, and thick eyebrows ran around with his trembling friend, who wore all red. Later, he felt his cellphone vibrate in his pocket, so he took it out and read his new message.

"Type in English!" The boy, Peter, did a facepalm and replied to his older brother's text with a comprehensible version of his previous messages. "Hey, jerk Arthur! I'm playing with Raivis, so I'm going to be home late. It's not gibberish, it's 'Jejenese.' Alfred calls it 'Leetspeak.*'"

Soon, Peter saw his friend Raivis also texting someone after facepalming. Peter looked over his shoulder to peek at what he was typing. "Nahtt nowww 3DuRd! Imm WithxzP3+3r!1!1 :P" (*"Not now Eduard! I'm with Peter!")

(*Although Leet and Jejemon are two different things.)

* * *

><p><strong>My Immortal<strong>

Rating: K+

Summary: I named this Drabble after the "Worst fanfiction ever" because the whole thing uses cliches, describes their clothes, and implies the existence of Hot Topic in England

Maria was looking at the mirror, combing her long, dark-brown hair, when she heard the doorbell ring. She quickly did some last minute touches to her look before she opened the door.

Alfred stood on the other side, with a hamburger on his left hand, and a 3DS in his right. He wore a Super Mario t-shirt, multiple colorful wristbands, and red skinny jeans. He had a short chain hanging from his belt, and it was connected to a keychain with the Call of Duty Black Ops logo on it. His normal glasses were replaced by a black rimmed pair with bigger lenses, and he also wore a polar bear hat, which he borrowed from Matthew.

Maria scanned Alfred's new outfit, which looked like a cross between scene kid and computer geek, then she looked down at her clothes, a white blouse and a red skirt, the Gakuen Hetalia uniform.

"Didn't they tell you that today is casual Friday?" Alfred said while looking at his game. Maria shot him a confused look, then she told him to come inside and wait in the living room. She rushed to her bedroom, while Alfred sat on the couch playing his video game and eating his BigMac as he waited.

Five minutes later, Maria finally came out of her room. She posed for her American friend, making an upside-down peace sign with one hand and holding a cup of Starbucks coffee with another. "The Starbucks encounter" pose. Her outfit was a sleeveless black dress, black leggings, black combat boots, and a really loose hoodie with graffiti design. She had a cap with rainbow stripes sitting on her head, not worn properly, it was just placed there. It was combination of emo and gangster.

Arthur came to her place a few minutes later so they could all walk to school together. The first thing he saw after he entered the apartment was Alfred, who was absorbed in his gaming. He then looked at Maria, then back at Alfred, and began to question their strange fashion sense. Arthur dressed rather normally, just a simple pair of jeans and a Union Jack shirt.

He gawked at the two again, then said "So, I see you bloody gits went shopping at Hot Topic."


End file.
